It’s a moment to be indulgent and not to write the body off as past repair,’ she says. ‘Likewise, others decide to have all their teeth veneered. ‘I have found it quite common for menopausal women to say: “I’ve always wanted a breast reduction and now I’m jolly well going to have one,”’ says Jane.
‘It’s not nicknamed “the change” for nothing. The “is this it?” moment as I call it - though this life stage can be liberating for all involved if we allow it to be. ‘Which is why there is still such an association with old age and mortality surrounding the menopause. ‘There’s nothing like an early menopause to induce shame and depression - after all, up until as recently as the early 1900s, women would die shortly after the menopause,’ Jane says. ‘But it is important to make a distinction between the normal and temporary anxiety that occurs with the drop in oestrogen - and clinical anxiety.’ Jane (pictured) said there is still such an association with old age and mortality surrounding the menopause because as recently as the early 1900s women would die shortly after the menopause I persuaded Andy to come along, but I could tell he thought it might benefit the therapist’s bank account more than us. Which is why I jumped at the invitation to try a couples menopause therapy session with Jane Haynes, a psychotherapist at The Blue Door Practice in London. Saying it out loud is admitting that you’re old now, washed up and being put to pasture. Little wonder one study showed 65 per cent of women believe their perimenopausal or menopausal symptoms affect their marriages, with the loss of physical intimacy being a key casualty of the menopause.Īs for my own menopausal blinkers - there’s still a secrecy, a denial, a sense of shame about going into the menopause. Your partner feels rejected, they are being kept awake with the wrong sort of sleepless nights in bed, and all this adds to other issues for many couples at this life stage. Suzanne Duckett and husband of 25 years Andy (pictured) revealed the outcome of a couples menopause therapy session with Jane HaynesĪt this stage of life, libido, for many women, leaves the building. Sleeping on a towel is not very sexy, I can tell you.
By day we would battle over the central heating, at bedtime, the night sweats took hold. The panic attacks and the brain fog were blamed on pressure at work, and I even decided my night sweats were the result of taking too many supplements.Īs the former beauty director of Good Housekeeping magazine, I wrote about the menopause for years, but it didn’t occur to me that I might be perimenopausal. The frequent low moods? They were due to upsetting family issues. We put my anger outbursts down to stress. We talk about pretty much everything, but when my menopausal symptoms first hit six years ago, it blindsided us both.
My husband, Andy, and I have been together for 25 years and we have a 13-year-old daughter. Yet, latest research tells us that this turbulent period in a woman’s life is a relationship saboteur that can be as devastating as infidelity and debt. When you fall in love as vibrant twenty-somethings the last thing you imagine is that two decades down the line you’ll be sitting together on a psychotherapist’s couch having menopause counselling.